


this love is difficult (but it's real)

by nct127



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Arranged Marriage, Established Relationship, Forbidden Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Not so happy ending, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:27:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29379210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nct127/pseuds/nct127
Summary: If love was pain, then the pain was worth enduring. Lee Jeno was worth it.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Park Jisung
Comments: 18
Kudos: 65
Collections: Challenge #5 - I heard a secret..





	this love is difficult (but it's real)

Was love meant to hurt? Jisung didn’t know. He just knew that he was in pain and had been enduring it since he met Lee Jeno.

Lee Jeno had given Jisung some of the happiest moments of his life. The secret getaways into the forests that separate their kingdoms, the quiet nights laying low in his castle’s garden, the soft kisses goodbye as the sun began to rise, and Jeno got back onto his horse to return to his kingdom before someone could notice he had been missing. But all those happy moments had been laced with anxiety and fear that made Jisung sick sometimes.

The panicked looks behind their shoulders when they thought they were being followed, the dashes to hide behind trees when an unexpected carriage rolled into the kingdom in the midst of the night, the wide eyes as they looked at each other when they had been almost certain a warden had heard them sneaking around one of their castles.

If love was pain, then the pain was worth enduring. Lee Jeno was worth it.

Jisung walked through one of the dark, abandoned corridors of the castle. He could hear the heavy footsteps and soft clink of a heel echoing behind him. Jisung knew it was Jeno. He had become far too familiar with everything about him, even something as trivial as the sounds of his footsteps. He didn’t dare to turn around and confirm his suspicions or slow down to let Jeno catch up. That had been far too risky, and sneaking around as they were, was already risky enough.

Jisung marched on, swallowing the lump in his throat as he walked. Barely any light came in. The only source of it coming from the shining moon peering in through the murky windows and the green light reflections of the jewels of his crown following him as he walked. The color came from the emeralds encrusted into his crown.  Emeralds were one of the gems known to be commonly found in the land of his kingdom. He probably would have stopped to admire the colored reflections of light if he wasn’t on a time crunch. His parents were waiting for him back at the party.

He finally reached the end of the corridor, his hand slipping inside his jacket to pull out one of the slightly rusted skeleton keys that had become such an essential part of his and Jeno’s relationship. One of the previous wardens had lost their set of keys that opened nearly every door in the castle. Of course, that had led to him being fired and nearly beheaded in the town square, but his mistake and Jisung being the lucky one to find the keys had been the only reason why he and Jeno were able to sneak off so much. 

He inserted the key into the keyhole, twisting it and opening the door that led to one of the many open balconies of the castle. The walls were built far too high for any visitors coming into the castle to see if anyone was there — A perfect place for him and Jeno to escape to. Jisung stepped outside, shivering as the cool breeze immediately hit him. The chill January air hadn’t been too kind to Jisung’s kingdom. He was just relieved that they hadn’t fallen victim to the blizzard that swept through the Kim Kingdom. The snow would only make it harder for Jeno and his horse to travel through the dense forest that separated their lands.

“Maybe we should’ve snuck away to the library instead. The weather hasn’t been too kind these days, has it?”

Jisung flinched at the sudden sound of Jeno’s voice, sighing out as he heard the chuckle that rumbled from Jeno’s chest.

“You know not to sneak up on me like that,” Jisung huffed out, closing the door behind Jeno as he joined him on the balcony. “The main corridors are being guarded. We’d be immediately caught if we went to the library.”

Jisung had been admiring Jeno from afar throughout the party, never getting the opportunity to step more than a couple of feet in his direction. Even when all the royal families from all the kingdoms had gathered together to take a group picture to commemorate the ball that had been hosted at the Park Kingdom. But even from afar, Jisung could tell how stunning Jeno had looked. Getting a close-up glance only confirmed it. The sapphire blue velvet suit he wore was tailored perfectly to his body, accentuating his broad shoulders and small waist. His long legs —t hough not longer than Jisung’s — were dressed with a pair of trousers that matched the suit’s jacket. Atop his head was his crown, designed almost similarly to Jisung’s, but made with silver rather than gold, and sapphires rather emeralds were encrusted into it. Jisung was left speechless. Not like there were any words that would do Jeno justice, though. 

“I wasn’t sneaking up on you. You knew I was just a couple of feet behind you,” Jeno hummed. He wasted no time in placing his hands on Jisung’s body once the door was shut, and there was virtually no possibility of being seen. His gloved hands slid onto Jisung’s waist, running along his sides momentarily before wrapping his arms around Jisung fully. “You look stunning tonight. I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off you.”

Jisung’s cheeks flushed pink, letting out a shy laugh as his arms wrapped loosely around Jeno’s neck, returning the hug. Even after their many months together, Jisung hadn’t grown accustomed to the spontaneous compliments Jeno would throw out. He didn’t think he ever would. “You’ve probably caught me staring at you, then.”

“I have, but I think it’s cute.” Jisung could feel Jeno resting his head on his shoulder and his hot breath hitting the cool skin of his neck. He shivered at the contact. If Jeno’s crown hadn’t been in the way, Jisung would’ve rested his head atop Jeno's.

Jeno swayed their bodies to the tune of the muffled music that could still vaguely be heard from within the castle. Jisung simply followed his lead, letting Jeno guide them through the simple movements as the conversation between them ceased momentarily. Jisung didn’t mind the sudden silence. He was just grateful to be in Jeno’s presence and to have a couple of minutes alone where they could love in peace. Jisung wondered if Jeno could hear the blood rushing through his veins and his heart beating inside his chest. Part of him wanted him too. He wanted Jeno to know the way he made him feel.

“We could get away,” Jisung’s voice was soft as he finally broke the silence. “We can run away from all of this before you’re wedded off. Just the two of us.” He didn’t break the distance between them. If anything, he held Jeno closer to him.

“Jisung, you know that’d be far too selfish for us to do,” There was a hint of disappointment in Jeno’s soft voice that made Jisung’s heart ache. “If our kingdoms found out that their princes had run off together, it’d be mayhem. All of the kingdoms have worked so hard to maintain peace since the last war. We can’t risk the lives of our people over our selfish needs.”

“I know,” Jisung  _ had _ known. It was a conversation they had plenty of times. He knew Jeno was right and that it’d be selfish of them to ruin the peace their kingdoms had created over a silly relationship. Still, a part of him wished maybe something in Jeno’s mind would change, that he’d suddenly agree to Jisung’s plan of running away to be together.

“I sincerely wish things didn’t need to be this way. I wish there were a way we could unite our kingdoms and become one so I could be with you. But we both know it’ll be long before that can happen. It’s possible that it won’t even be considered until we’re both long gone from this world.” Jisung could hear the sorrow in Jeno’s voice as he spoke. He knew Jeno didn’t want this either, even if he was the more realistic of the two. “Maybe in a different lifetime, we can be together freely and love in peace without worrying about being caught. I hope that lifetime comes soon.”

Jisung had already come to terms with their situation. It took endless nights of silent sobbing for him to accept the fact that he and Jeno may never be able to love freely. His heart still throbbed over it and twinged in pain even more knowing that Jeno would be wedded off soon to the son of a wealthy family in his kingdom, and Jisung was most likely going to have to sit through the wedding next to his mother and father. 

“Do you promise to love me once you’re wedded off?” Jisung sniffled, though he wasn’t entirely sure if it was a result of the cold or if it had been a telltale sign of tears to come.

“I’ll love you till the end of my days. I wish it were you I was marrying, Jisung.”

“Then let’s get married,” Jisung finally pulled away from Jeno’s body, head tilting down slightly to look at him. “Nothing official, of course. Just a promise that we’ll always love each other and be together even when we’re both married to different people.” His left hand hastily pulled off his glove and then the ring around his right ring finger. A gold band with fragments of emerald delicately encrusted into it. His entire family had their own — A symbol of them being in the Park royalty bloodline. Many of the other kingdoms had something similar. Jeno’s included. Jisung could see the bump in his glove where Jeno’s ring was.

Jisung grabbed Jeno’s left hand, pulling the white glove off it and sliding the ring onto his ring finger. The fit was slightly snug, the band not sitting exactly where it would be on Jisung’s own finger, but it was enough for now. Jeno would have to take it off and store it somewhere private when they weren’t together anyway.

“Jisung,” Jeno breathed out. Jisung interlaced their fingers together. “That’s your family ring. They’ll know it’s gone.”

“I’ll tell them it’s missing and that I lost it when I took it off to wash up. They’ll have it replaced easily. They’ll even have the blacksmith make it a priority to replace it,” Jisung quickly snapped back. “Jeno, please,” He pleaded, squeezing Jeno’s hand. “I need this.”

Jisung could see the gears turning in Jeno’s head as he contemplated. His eyes still trailed on their hands, watching as the emeralds gleamed underneath the moon’s light. The silence between them now was far different than the one they shared just moments ago. Jisung wasn’t sure how much longer he could take it as time passed by. His brain overloading from the stress, and his heart beating concerningly fast. The only sign of time passing had been the orchestra inside finishing a song and quickly moving onto the next.

“Okay,” Jeno finally spoke up. His voice barely above a whisper as he nodded, looking up to meet Jisung’s hopeful eyes. “Okay. Let’s do it.” Jisung could feel his body tremble from a mix of many overwhelming emotions. It was almost a little too much for him to handle. 

“You need a ring too, though,” Jeno said. He ripped the glove off his other hand, working quickly to remove his own family ring. It had been designed similarly to his crown — Silver with sapphires intricately encrusted into the band. He grabbed Jisung’s left hand, easily sliding it onto his finger after removing his glove and stepping back to admire how the silver jewelry adorned Jisung’s hand. If they didn’t need to return to the party soon, Jisung would’ve let out the sob that was bubbling up in his throat. It took everything within him to suppress the lump, shoving it back down as he stared at Jeno, who was admiring the ring on his finger still.

“I love you,” Jisung’s voice shaky. The announcement caused Jeno’s neck to snap up, meeting Jisung’s eyes once more. A wide grin crept onto his face as he met Jisung’s gaze, launching forward to press their lips together. Their teeth clanged as they desperately tried to move their lips together despite their wide smiles and joyful giggles getting in the way. Jisung could taste the faint artificial cherry of the chapstick on Jeno’s lips. 

“I love you too,” Jeno spoke once they pulled away from the kiss. Their faces remained centimeters apart, enjoying the closeness of their bodies, soaking in the affection for as long as they could. “So much. More than you’ll ever know.”

“Enough to sneak over some pastries from the Jang bakery in your kingdom when we meet tomorrow night?” Jisung teased, leaning in to press another quick kiss to Jeno’s lips.

“Certainly enough to do that for you,” Jeno grinned before fully pulling away from Jisung’s body. “We should probably head back to the party. Our parents are probably starting to grow suspicious of where we’ve been,” Dread dripped from voice, and the sour tone made Jisung frown. He pulled his gloves back over his hands, covering up the ring Jisung had given him. Jeno motioned for Jisung to do the same.

“I hate to see them covered up so quickly. But at least we can wear them without anyone knowing.” Jeno said, watching as Jisung slowly pulled his gloves back over his hands. His heart swelled up at the sight of the small bump where his ring was. “Ready to head back?”

“No,” Jisung shook his head. He took in a deep breath before grabbing Jeno’s hand one last time, giving it a tight squeeze. “But we haven’t a choice.”

“I know,” Jeno offered him a sad smile and returned the squeeze Jisung had given his hand. “But at least we go back knowing we’re husbands now.” He pulled his hand away from Jisung’s, stepping towards the door that led them back into the castle.

“I’ll go first. Wait a minute before following,” Jeno said, his hand twisting the knob yet not pulling the door open. “And if I can’t speak to you again tonight, know that I will be waiting to see you again in the garden tomorrow night.”

Jisung nodded. He mimicked the somber smile on Jeno’s face. “Don’t forget to bring those pastries.”

“I would never forget. What kind of husband would I be if I did?”

**Author's Note:**

> my twitter so u can see me being stupid<3  
> [writing twt](https://twitter.com/jiwisung)
> 
> my cc in case u would like to maybe send a message<3  
> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/jiwisung)
> 
> and comments make me HAPPY!!!<33 mwah


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